A Journey of Nine Months

For nine months, you carried me inside

In springtime and the heat of summer

As the leaves of autumn fell

And into early December

Nine months to create a tiny miracle

Nine months of sleepless nights

Nine months of restless days

Nine months of growing new life

Another little one to add to the other four

One more crying baby to be satisfied

One more toddler getting into everything

One more child who knew she needed you

One more teen who thought she didn't

One more daughter to grow up and marry

Every child is unique, every child is special

No woman can ever forget

The nine month journey to motherhood

For nine months, I've carried you in my heart

Nine long months of grieving my loss

Nine grateful months of rejoicing your gain

Nine months of wishing you back

Nine months without your voice

Nine months without your smile

Nine months without your wisdom

Yet every day, I feel your presence

You're with me in the rising of the sun

You're with me as I fall asleep

You're as close as a memory

Yet as far away as eternity

You live on in my words and deeds

You live on in my thoughts and dreams

You live on in my children and grandchildren

You live on in the hearts of those who loved you

And in the hearts of those you loved

Nine months of firsts I didn't want

First day without you

 First week, first month

First phone calls not made

First warm day you weren't on the porch

First flower boxes not in bloom

First leaves falling quietly to the ground

First season of muted holidays 

First blast of winter without you

First Christmas back home 

First KU season without you

A journey of nine months

Toward a lifetime with you in my heart

But out of my sight

My angel up above

Watching over me now

As you watched over me then

Holding me close

As I wake and as I sleep

In the day to day events

And the special moments of life

Always at my side

Giving me strength when I'm weak

Waiting for me to join you

Someday but not yet

I don't know why

I'll never really understand

But God knows and that's enough

Loving you

Missing you

Always

My angel

My Mom