Thursday, March 5, 2015

A Journey of Nine Months

For nine months, you carried me inside
In springtime and the heat of summer
As the leaves of autumn fell
And into early December
Nine months to create a tiny miracle
Nine months of sleepless nights
Nine months of restless days
Nine months of growing new life
Another little one to add to the other four
One more crying baby to be satisfied
One more toddler getting into everything
One more child who knew she needed you
One more teen who thought she didn't
One more daughter to grow up and marry
Every child is unique, every child is special
No woman can ever forget
The nine month journey to motherhood

For nine months, I've carried you in my heart
Nine long months of grieving my loss
Nine grateful months of rejoicing your gain
Nine months of wishing you back
Nine months without your voice
Nine months without your smile
Nine months without your wisdom
Yet every day, I feel your presence
You're with me in the rising of the sun
You're with me as I fall asleep
You're as close as a memory
Yet as far away as eternity
You live on in my words and deeds
You live on in my thoughts and dreams
You live on in my children and grandchildren
You live on in the hearts of those who loved you
And in the hearts of those you loved

Nine months of firsts I didn't want
First day without you
 First week, first month
First phone calls not made
First warm day you weren't on the porch
First flower boxes not in bloom
First leaves falling quietly to the ground
First season of muted holidays 
First blast of winter without you
First Christmas back home 
First KU season without you
A journey of nine months
Toward a lifetime with you in my heart
But out of my sight
My angel up above
Watching over me now
As you watched over me then
Holding me close
As I wake and as I sleep
In the day to day events
And the special moments of life
Always at my side
Giving me strength when I'm weak
Waiting for me to join you
Someday but not yet
I don't know why
I'll never really understand
But God knows and that's enough
Loving you
Missing you
My angel
My Mom

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