Mom Showed Me the Way

They say that only a Mom really knows

How quickly life moves, how fast time goes.

From babies to toddlers to school girls and boys

Rattles and stuffed animals to being too big for toys.

Those older and wiser try to tell the young Mom 

To live life while they're young, they'll soon be at prom. 

Soon driving and laughing, or texting all day 

Growing and changing and moving away.

A Mom's heart breaks with each ache her child feels 

Though she tries to soften the blows making deals. 

With God or with man or whoever she can 

To help her son grow up to be a man.

To moms everywhere on your own special day 

Your job is to see your children on their way. 

To manhood and to womanhood too 

Until you soon have no more job to do.

Moms take the blame for whatever goes wrong 

And pass out the praise when the boy's big and strong. 

'That's my boy' or 'That girl is mine' 

Pride in your voice, eyes that do shine.

As you look toward your children, now grown 

You know that you'd give up all that you own. 

To go back in time, if just for a day 

To a time when the baby in your arms did lay.

The future still so far far away 

For now just only time to play. 

And knowing then what now you know 

How quickly that little baby would grow.

A good Mom works herself out of a job 

The kids grow up and time does rob 

The days away and memories too 

Leaving Mom sometimes sad and blue.

But don't despair, Moms here and there 

Before you know, life will soon be fair. 

When that baby of yours has a baby too 

For you to hold and rock and sing to.

That's what the older ones all know 

Life's endless circle as little ones grow. 

You've done your job, you did your best 

And now you've earned your little rest.

Thanks to all the Moms, especially mine 

You raised all eight, should have been nine. 

You saw us all through thick and thin 

You did it all while wearing a grin.

Because you knew our time would come 

We'd have to let go of our own little ones. 

Wave good-bye and choke back our tears 

Let them go their own way despite all the fears.

Thanks dear Mom for showing me the way 

And for teaching me how to sing and to play. 

Showing me what a good Mom should do 

When I grew up, I became just like you. 

- Sandy Wallace, May 2, 2012

One of the perks of being a freelance writer is the freedom to write about whatever I want. I originally wrote this poem as a Mother's Day tribute to my Mom, published in May 2012 on the Yahoo Contributor Network. During the month of May 2015, we've made it through two more firsts: the first Mother's Day without our Mom and Mom's first birthday in Heaven. 

They say the first year spent grieving the loss of a loved one is the worst and that the pain lessens with time. Almost a year ago, we said our final good-byes to Mom and Dad. Mom died on June 5, 2014, and Dad followed her to their eternal home just 16 days later on June 21, 2014.

As I turned the calendar from May to June this year, those two dates stood out on the calendar as bleak reminders of this grief-filled year. Mom's homegoing took place early in the morning of my younger grandson's sixth birthday. Perhaps this was God's way of giving me a reason to celebrate June 5 each year, instead of just grieving. It seems fitting to republish this tribute as the date of Mom's death approaches.

I captured this photo of my Mom on one of my many visits back home. Mom always asked me to call when I was getting close to home so she could be ready and probably so she could be on the front porch waiting for me -- my personal welcome home committee of one. Dad was usually waiting inside, except when he was gone to Boy Scout camp.

This is one of my fondest memories of Mom -- waiting for one of her children to come home. Whether standing on the front porch waiting in the middle of the day or sitting on the living room davenport waiting in the middle of the night, waiting for her kids to come home is just what Mom did.

One of Mom's favorite sayings was, "You take it as it comes." Mom waited for us then as she waits for us now. When my days on earth come to an end, I expect to see Mom waiting for me on the other side -- my personal welcome home committee to Heaven. Until then, I'll take it as it comes. I Love you, Mom! You're loved and missed always.

Happy First Birthday in Heaven, Mom!

You were smiling on your birthday in this photo five short years ago. You joined us in the birthday song: "Happy Birthday to ME," you sang.

When I think of you today on your first birthday in Heaven, this is just how I see you -- filled with joy, laughing, singing and happily surrounded by your parents, brothers and many others you love.

I know you're safely home with God, just where you're supposed to be. But that doesn't stop the pain deep in my heart that comes from missing you. 

I think of you in the morning, when each day dawns anew. I think of you in the day, remembering lunch time walks taken while talking with you by phone. I think of you in the evening and when I close my eyes to sleep. You're never far from my thoughts.

You dropped a penny down to me the day you went away. As the days have passed by, the penny pile has grown -- and includes nickels, dimes and quarters too.

Some days when I look up to the sky, I see angel clouds or clouds shaped like hearts and I know you're watching over all of us.

Sometimes I see butterflies -- often in pairs -- dancing in the meadow or flitting from flower to flower. Maybe you've sent them down so I'll feel your love surrounding me.

I can't send flowers to Heaven, but I'm sure that there's no need. Heaven must be filled with flowers much more beautiful than these. 

Heaven's the perfect place -- more beautiful than we can imagine. How fitting it is that my beautiful Mom is forever at peace in such a wonderful place. None of us knows just what it's like up in your eternal home. Perhaps Heaven is filled with all of your favorite things.

Maybe there are brownies for breakfast -- or anytime your heart desires. 

Perhaps there's a Jayhawk or two to keep you warm.

Heaven may hold a puzzle stockpile to last you through eternity.

There may even be a Snoopy or two up there in Heaven with you.

Maybe there's KFC up there for you to enjoy.

Coke in Heaven? Who knows -- but whether or not there's Coke up there, I'm sure that you're wearing that same big smile. Because to be in God's presence is certainly worth smiling about.

The streets of Heaven may be paved with gold, but maybe there's springtime flowers too.

We miss you here every day, but you're finally reunited with so many of those you've loved and missed for years.

Here's flowers for you to enjoy, Mom
All of your favorite colors are here
As I look at flowers in my garden
I feel your presence here.

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Mom
I'm sure the celebration's grand
I'll try today to choose joy over sadness
As I remember the warmth of your hands

You're always in my heart
Even if I can't see your face
I know you're up there waiting
For us all to be together in that perfect place.

 

On your birthday and always
You're loved and missed forever
With all my love
XOXOXO Ciss

A Mom's Love Lasts Forever

This post is dedicated to my Mom and my Mother-in-Law. Mom gained her angel wings on June 5, 2014. My Mother-in-Law Lurlene gained her angel wings on January 31, 2015.

The love of these two moms will always be in our hearts. Thanks Mom and Lurlene for making me and Kenny who we are today! We love you forever!

When you're a little kid, you really don't understand a mother's love. Yes, you know your mom loves you, but you really don't understand the depth and breadth of that love.

As a child, you don't realize that your mom would do anything for you -- that she would even give up her very life to save yours.

Babies are self-centered by nature, so God created moms to be selflessly in love with their children. When a baby's cry pierces the night, mom is awake and ready.

Moms learn maternal love from their own moms, who learned from their moms. Whether or not that look of love is captured in a photograph, the love of mother for child is timeless and lasts forever.

Although tested by her child's actions and words, a mother's love endures through the terrible twos and the challenging teen years.

A mother stands behind her child in times of trouble and sadness. She stands beside her child in times of joy and celebration. Even if she lives far away, a mom is always just a phone call away.

When little girls grow up to become moms, they truly understand how deep their mother's love goes. As you look into the eyes of your own baby, you begin to truly realize your own mom's love for you.

As your own children grow, your mom is the first person you reach out to in times of happiness. Your mom's also the person you seek out when things go wrong and you need advice.

That mama love extends to grandchildren too. That's why your children can do no wrong in the eyes of their loving grandma.

Moms of all ages cherish special family celebrations. Weddings, birthdays, graduations, holidays and other happy occasions fill moms and grandmas with joy to sustain them through more difficult times.

As time goes by, your mom becomes so much more than just a mother. She's your friend and advisor, your strength and wisdom, your rock.

I've lived far away from my mom for my entire adult life. As a result, most of our family celebrations didn't include my mom, but many have included my mother-in-law.

My trips back home were usually in the summertime or right after Christmas. It was rare for all of us adult kids to come home at the same time since we're all scattered across the country.

Although Mom disliked having her photo taken when she was younger, she mellowed with age and was okay with posing for photos, especially with her grandkids.

In recent years, it's been wonderful to go back home to celebrate my Mom's birthday with her. As an adult, you understand -- even if you don't accept -- that nothing lasts forever.

I'm grateful that Mom was willing to pose for photos more as she got older. When she was younger, she hated being photographed and often hid her face.

It's very true that the older you get, the more you appreciate your Mom. It's also true for many of us that the older we get, the more we become like our moms.

That thing about becoming more like our moms as we age is true with moms and sons too. As adults, we take on qualities we admire from both of our parents.

Time stands still for no man -- or woman. So, as we move forward in our life together, we honor and cherish the memory of our parents by living as they would want us to live. As they shared God's love with us, we have shared God's love with our children and grandchildren.

As they loved their children, we continue to love our children and grandchildren. One of the secrets of life that you realize as you get older is that love is worth so much more than things. Life goes on and life is good.

Happy Mother's Day in Heaven to our moms. Together with our dads, they are singing with the angels as they are joined together forever. Mom always said, "Some day we'll all be together."

But that day is not today. So for now, I'll take what I can get when I can get it and do the best I can to face each day with a smile on my face, a prayer on my lips and a song in my heart.

Blogging Grandma Sandy, signing off for now.

The Ebb and Flow of Grief

When someone you love dies, you begin a sad and lonely journey -- one with a beginning, but no ending. It's a journey you didn't choose.

Unlike a road trip, there are no mileage signs to show you're almost done with the journey. Grief doesn't have a destination or an ending.

If the grief journey had signs, one of them would certainly read, "BE PREPARED TO STOP" in capital letters. With the death of a loved one, your life -- and everything normal in your life -- comes to a halt for a period of time.

The life you knew is changed forever, dulled into shades of black, white and grey. Friends gather around and try to comfort you with words like, "I'm thinking of you" or "You're in my thoughts" or "Our prayers are with you." Although the words are comforting, the color is gone from your life.

As you struggle with memories of the past and no clear vision of the future, you feel stuck in a never-ending spiral of grief while those around you move forward with their own lives.

As you look ahead, the path seems rocky, laden with danger and filled with hooks, snares and traps to entangle your emotions as you try to find what they call "a new normal."

Some days you wish you could just post a "ROAD CLOSED" sign in front of your house or in your office to keep others away and leave you with your memories.

As you struggle to recapture the joy in life after loss, God calls you to choose faith over worry. There's nothing too big to handle when you turn it over to God.

Our God is a God of hope. He fills us with joy and peace so we may abound in hope.

He reminds us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will be opened. Beauty is everywhere, even when you're walking in the shadows of grief.

My Mom always said, "This too shall pass." Sometimes we need this reminder on a daily -- or even an hourly basis. The ebb and flow of grief isn't a constant stream that you can factor into your day.

Although it doesn't seem possible sometimes, God tells us that He will wipe away every tear.

There are long days and longer nights on the grief journey, but God will bring you joy.

Put your faith and hope in God and He will renew your strength. You will soar on eagles' wings. You will run and not grow weary.

The person you loved and lost may be one of many, but to you they were the world. Take comfort in the words and actions of others along the journey.

No man is an island. Others share your pain and reach out to help you along the journey of grief. Whether your loss was due to violence, war or tragedy...

Or the overwhelming, acute and deeply personal loss of a parent, child or spouse, your loved one is always with you.

A new day is dawning and we are all called to be a part of it -- to embrace life with all of its sorrows and losses. Death is a part of life. We will all face it ourselves one day.

We all want what we want, when we want it, if we want it -- and we want it now. We want to be sheltered from heartache and pain, but that's not very realistic.

Even when the journey is difficult and filled with unexpected twists and turns, we are called to just keep on truckin'.

We are called to choose joy, even as we struggle with the pain of loss. We are called to be hopeful about the future, even when it's uncertain.

We are called to walk by faith, not by sight. Even though we don't see Him, God is with us along the journey of grief. He knows our pain and feels our suffering.

Live life in gratitude of all that you have. Cherish the precious memories of those who have left this world for a better place. Live more and stress less.

Whether or not you embrace life, it's going by. Choose to be happy. Choose to be fully engaged and alive in all of the little moments of life.

None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so live life today. We are blessed!

Live life without regrets. Don't cry because it's over now -- laugh because it happened.

Life isn't a dream. You've got to take the good with the bad. Smile with the sad. Love what you've got. Remember what you had. Always forgive and learn from your mistakes.

Life is all about choices. Happiness is a choice, even in the midst of sorrow. Make up your mind to be happy.

Find joy in the simple things and embrace the memories of the love you shared. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Reach out to others who are struggling. As you encourage others who are grieving, you will be blessed. Forgive those who hurt you and be the first to say "I'm sorry." Laugh every day, even when it hurts. Choose to live happily ever after -- even after loss. Life goes on and life is good.

It's been 10 1/2 months since my Mom died. Just 16 days later, Dad followed Mom into eternal life. Since then, we've also lost two dear family members in my husband's family: his mom who died unexpectedly at the end of January and his brother and only sibling who died a few days ago and will be buried today.

Each day, the words of one of my favorite hymns "City of God" help me along the journey:

"Awake from your slumber!

Arise from your sleep!

A new day is dawning for all those who weep,

The people in darkness have seen a great light,

The Lord of our longing has conquered the night,

Let us build the city of God,

May our tears be turned into dancing!

For the Lord, our light and our love, has turned the night into day!"

As my personal winding journey of grief continues, I'll take what I can get when I can get it and do the best I can to face each day with a smile on my face, a prayer on my lips and a song in my heart.

Blogging Grandma Sandy, signing off for now.